Pink strands
by TheGirlWhoFlew21
Summary: Blaine Anderson only has eyes for Kurt Hummel, who is a typicall skank. Though his loved ones try to warn him he refuses to listen and lets himself get involved with the boy who has the worst reputation in Lima. Warnings: Smut, self-harming.
1. Chapter 1: You're cute

**A/N: I'm baaaack! Okay, so this is sort of an idea I've had in mind for quite a while. I don't know how many chapters it will be but I hope you'll enjoy it though. Please review after so I know what you think! :)**

* * *

Chapter 1: You're cute.

"Would you stop staring? You're literally drooling." Mercedes said and made a face.

"What?" Blaine said and snapped out of his thoughts, he looked back at her. She pointed at his chin, he brought a hand up and felt something wet.

"Oh." He said and blushed, wiping the drool off with his sleeve.

"You really shouldn't pay him that much attention, Blaine." Mercedes said seriously.

"Why not?"

"He's Kurt Hummel, the heartbreaker, the player, the _skank_."

"Don't talk about him like that. Have you even spoken to him before?"

"Well, no. But people say-"

"_People say_? You can't just judge someone by a rumour. I mean look at him, he's so beautiful." Blaine sighed dreamily and looked back at the boy he's been staring at for the past half hour at the mall.

About fifty feet away the boy stood. He was around eighteen years old, just a year older than Blaine. He was thin with really long legs, defined jaws, pale skin and piercing blue eyes. His hair was pink and he had three piercings in his nose and one in his left eyebrow. Right now he was wearing black jeans, knee high boots and a black shirt

He was _beautiful_.

Blaine literally couldn't stop staring. This Kurt guy was currently talking to some friends dressed in similar outfits. They were laughing and god he looked so beautiful when he laughed.

"Well, no matter how _nice_ he is you don't exactly seem to be his type." Mercedes pointed out. Blaine looked back at her and then eyed his button up shirt, his bowtie and his suspenders. He looked back at him and felt his heart sink in his chest a little.

"You're right." He said and looked longingly after Kurt, the boy he would never have. Kurt suddenly barked out laughing and then turned his head a little, he stopped laughing as his gaze fell on Blaine.

Oh no, Kurt caught him staring.

Blaine looked down at the table, then glancing up carefully. Kurt was still watching him. Kurt's eyes traveled from his face down to as far as he could see, then met Blaine's eyes again. This time he smiled and winked.

Blaine's jaw dropped, did Kurt just… check him out? _And _winked? He was too shocked to do anything. Kurt seemed to find his reaction amusing since he started laughing again and then turned his attention back to his friends. Blaine blushed so much that he must look similar to a tomato.

"Why are you blushing like an idiot and why is Kurt Hummel walking towards us?!" Mercedes asked, who apparently have missed their little exchange.

"I- I don't know." Blaine whispered as he moved his gaze to Kurt again. Kurt was walking towards them, his eyes on Blaine. He stopped just a few inches away from Blaine's face.

"Hey." Kurt said. His voice was very high pitched and his breath smelled like smoke and mint, it made Blaine dizzy. And oh god, he was even more beautiful up close.

"H-Hi." Blaine said, his voice cracked. Kurt walked around him and sat down on the table infront of Blaine. He spread his legs wide and leaned forward. Blaine swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly very dry. Kurt tilted his head to the left.

"I saw that you were staring at me." Kurt said simply. "Do you think I'm hot?"

Blaine was so caught off guard that he became tongue tied, he couldn't answer. He just stuttered out some words that wasn't understandable.

"Well, do you?" Kurt asked again.

"I- I don't know…" Blaine finally got out. Mercedes was eyeing Kurt suspiciously but he didn't pay her any attention.

"You don't know?" Kurt said and raised both eyebrows. "Well, I think that you…" He paused and pointed a finger against Blaine's chest, the touch making the younger boy's entire body go weak. "… Are cute." Kurt finished.

"R-Really?" Blaine asked, his eyes wide.

"Yeah." Kurt said and removed his finger. "I think I've seen you a couple of times before, are you from here?"

"N-No, I live in Westerville actually…" Blaine stuttered out. Damn it, why couldn't he act normal?!

"Oh, let me guess. You go to that fancy school? What's it called now again… Dalton Academy?"

"Yeah, I go there." Oh yay, one sentence without a stutter. Progress.

"Ah." Kurt said and grinned. "Well, I go to McKinley."

"I- I know." Blaine said. Kurt raised both his eyebrows again, his eyes filled with wonder. Though he didn't question how Blaine knew that.

"Well, I have to go. See you around, _Blaine_." He said with another wink. He then got off the table and disappeared in the crowd.

"Okay, what the hell was that? And how did he know your name?" Mercedes asked harshly.

Blaine was unable to speak. The most beautiful human being had just walked up to him, winked twice and told him that he was cute. And that he would _see him around_. Did that mean that they were gonna meet again?

"Are you even listening to me right now?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah…" Blaine said breathlessly. "He's perfect."

"Perfect?!" Mercedes blurted out. "Kurt Hummel is anything but perfect. He has been suspended twice, almost gotten expelled, slept with every gay guy in this town, is always the blame for most of the shit that happens around here-"

"I don't care." Blaine said and narrowed his eyes at her. "I really do not care, Mercedes."

"Well, you should care. He is a troublemaker!"

"He has _pink_ hair! He's harmless." Blaine argued.

"Oh, don't judge the book by its cover."

"Exactly! That's exactly what you're doing right now. Your reason to hate him is based on some rumors you've heard."

"Fine. Just be careful. Please… he isn't a little kitten. He's more of a tiger and you are the kitten, Blaine."

"I'm not a kitten!" He said, offended by her comment.

"Compared to him, yeah, you are." She said and nodded.

"Whatever, should we go buy that purse or not?" He sighed and ate the last piece of the cake they had been sharing.

"Yeah, let's go." Mercedes agreed and got up from her chair.

* * *

"Look at him, he's completely gone." Wes said and nudged Jeff's shoulder. Both boys turned to look at Blaine who hadn't even noticed that they had been staring at him for the past ten minutes.

"BLAINE!" Jeff yelled. Blaine jumped so high in his chair and yelped in surprise before he turned to look at them with wide eyes.

"ARE YOU TWO INSANE?!" He yelled back, holding a hand over his pounding heart.

"Have you even listened to a word we've been saying?" Jeff asked, running a hand through his blonde hair.

"Well… no, not really." Blaine sighed and rubbed his eyes, he then turned his attention completely towards the blonde and the black haired boys. "Now I am, what were you saying."

"I am a lot more interested in hearing what you were thinking about." Wes said with a knowing smirk.

"It's- it's nothing." Blaine stuttered out.

"Mhmm." Jeff said and his smirk matched Wes'. Blaine groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"Blaineeeeeers," Wes teased.

"Fine!" Blaine said and reached his hands up in surrender. "It's this guy that I saw."

"And?" Wes pressed.

"_And_ he's really, really gorgeous. I never thought he would pay me any attention but he did." Blaine said with a proud smile.

"What do you mean by that?" Jeff asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No! No, not _that_. He walked up to me and he said that he thought I was cute."

"Oh, well that's great. May I ask who this handsome boy was?" Wes asked.

"Kurt Hummel." Blaine said with a grin. Wes and Jeff both stopped smiling at the same time, they gaped.

"Kurt Hummel?" Jeff blurted out.

"Are you insane? Blaine, that guy sleeps with the entire town!" Wes almost yelled.

"Would you two shut up? We are inside a coffee shop!" Blaine whispered harshly.

"Blaine," Jeff whispered. "Don't do this, he's just gonna take your virginity and then leave you. It's not worth it."

"Are you two kidding me right now?" He asked and laughed harshly. He was getting seriously pissed. "He goes to McKinley High, have you two as much as had a conversation with him?"

"Um, no." Jeff admitted, Wes shaked his head.

"Have you even seen him face to face?"

"No, but I saw him once outside this place one night, he was with some skanks." Wes said with a disgusted face expression.

"How can you two call him that? In the past two days I've heard nothing from Mercedes but how much of a skank, slut, whore and troublemaker he is. It's rumors, unless you two have been sleeping with him." Blaine snapped and narrowed his eyes.

"N-No, we haven't. We have girlfriends, Blaine." Wes said.

"Exactly. You haven't, you don't know him." Blaine shot back at them.

"Okay, fine. We just don't want you to get hurt." Jeff sighed.

"Yeah, you're our baby kitten." Wes teased and nudged Blaine's shoulder. Blaine's face expression softened and he rolled his eyes.

"I won't get hurt, okay?"

"Okay, just be careful." Jeff said.

"I will be. Gosh, you sound like you're my parents."

"Yeah, son. Now you do as your dads say." Wes joked and put his arm around Jeff.

"You two are ridiculous." Blaine said and rolled his eyes again.

"But you love us anyway." Jeff said.

"I guess I can't deny that." Blaine admitted with a sigh.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2: Sweet lips from hell

Chapter 2: Sweet lips from hell.

A few days later Blaine decided to pass by McKinley High on his way home. Not because he would possibly see Kurt, nope, that was not the reason at all. He was gonna pick up Mercedes, well, she didn't know that but he was.

He parked his car in the parking lot and just waited. He checked his watch, it was almost four pm, school was about to end.

About five minutes later people started walking out the door, but no Kurt Hummel so far.

"May I ask why you are picking me up? I already have a ride." Blaine jumped at the sound of Mercedes' voice as he turned his head.

"Well, I wanted to be a good friend." He said with a lame smile.

"Yeah, _right_. In case you were looking for Kurt, he was absent today. Probably ditching with the skanks."

"Stop calling them that! And I wasn't looking for him, please. I'm not a stalker." He said and made a hand gesture. She rolled her eyes and got into the passanger seat.

"Whatever, do you think we could pass by Subway? I missed lunch for a stupid makeup test." She sighed.

"Yeah, sure." He said and started driving.

* * *

Mercedes left for her sandwich and Blaine decided to wait in the car. He wasn't hungry anyway. He picked up his phone and started playing angry birds as he waited. Suddenly there was a knock on his window, he turned his head and dropped his phone in surprise when he saw who it was.

"K-Kurt!" He said as he rolled down the window. Kurt laughed when he saw his reaction, showing off some perfectly white teeth.

"Well, hello there, Blaine. I thought I smelled raspberry hairgel." He said with a smirk and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the window.

"Oh." The younger boy said and blushed.

"You're cute when you blush." Kurt mentioned and tilted his head to the left. Blaine only got redder.

"So, what are you doing here? Stalking me?" The older boy asked after a while. Blaine's eyes widened lots as he shaked his head furiously.

"N-No! Of course not, Mercedes was gonna buy a sandwich, I-I had no idea that you were here."

"Calm down." Kurt said with another laugh. "I'm kidding. Of course you didn't know I was here. People _never_ know where I am." He was so close to Blaine's face that he could smell his breath. It sent shivers down Blaine's spine and thank god he was sitting down cause his legs wouldn't be able to hold him up right now.

"I… uh…" Blaine stuttered out.

"You don't need to be so nervous around me, Blaine. I'm a good boy, I won't harm you." Kurt purred. His eyes big and blue and he looked like a damn puppy. Blaine couldn't concentrate on anything besides the beautiful creature infront of him.

"I… uh, I…" Kurt only laughed at Blaine's gibberish.

"It's like you don't even understand how fucking cute you are. And how hot it is that you don't know." Kurt said and leaned even closer. Blaine stared at his lips, oh god how he wanted to kiss him.

Kurt spoke as if he had read his mind. "So tell me, Blaine Anderson. Do you wanna kiss me?"

"Yes…" Blaine breathed out. Oh god yes, he wanted to taste his lips so badly.

"Do you?" Kurt asked again and leaned closer, their lips only inches away.

"Oh god, yes." Kurt smirked and licked his lips. Blaine could feel something in his pants by the sight. He needed Kurt to kiss him, he needed him to kiss him _now_. Or else he might lose his mind. Kurt looked down and seemed to notice his erection, his smirk turned into a grin as he met his eyes again. Blaine crossed his legs awkwardly.

"Oh look at you. Such a typicall virgin. Hard for me already when I haven't even laid a finger on you." Kurt was making fun of him, but somehow in this moment, Blaine didn't even mind.

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?" Blaine asked, annoyed when nothing happened.

"Oh, a little eager are we?" Kurt teased and let his lip brush against Blaine's upper. Blaine almost moaned at the contact, what the hell was with him?

"I…" Blaine trailed off. No one had ever had this effect on him before.

Kurt then crashed their lips together without a warning. And Blaine was gone. He was completely gone in the sensation. Kurt's lips were pure heaven, they felt and tasted so good and ohmygod Kurt could kiss. His tongue slipped into Blaine's mouth and it was moving around, _tasting_ every inch of his mouth. Blaine moaned as he felt his jeans become even tighter, it was almost painful. He could feel Kurt's pleased smirk against his own lips. A few seconds later they had to pull away at the lack of oxygen.

"Woah, not bad for a virgin." Kurt panted with that devilish smile. Blaine couldn't answer, he didn't even know where he was at the moment. Kurt bit his swollen lip and narrowed his eyes.

"This was fun, see you around." He said and flashed him another smile. Then he was gone. Blaine was still breathing heavily, trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. Suddenly Mercedes was in the car again with a bag.

"Are you okay? You look like someone just beat you up." She said with a frown.

"I'm fine." Blaine mumbled.

"Okay… should we go then?"

"What? Yeah, of course." He said and started driving.

The ride home was rather awkward since Blaine refused to speak. He knew that if he did Mercedes would sense something was wrong and somehow find out about the kiss, Blaine was not a good liar. And if she found out about the kiss she would only give him another half hour about what a bad person Kurt is. And Blaine didn't think he could do that without actually shoving that sandwich into her mouth to shut her up.

"You're awfully quiet." Mercedes mentioned when they were almost at her house.

"I have nothing to talk about." Blaine replied simply.

"You always have something to talk about." She said with a frown.

"Well, not today." Blaine parked the car outside her house. "I'll see you on Friday?"

"Yeah, bye." She said and gave him another suspicious glare before she stepped out of the car and closed the door. He drove straight home, he thanked god Mercedes hadn't noticed his obvious problem.

* * *

"Blaine, sweetie, we got a letter from Dalton-" His mother started once he got through the door.

"Sorry mom, I have to… uh, I have to call Wes!" He lied as he ran to the bathroom upstairs.

Once he had taken care of his problem he walked down the stairs to speak with his mother.

"So, what did Dalton say?" He asked. His mother turned around as she stood by the dishwasher in the kitchen.

"I have rather terrible news, sweetie." She looked sad. "Since The Warblers lost Regionals they are canceling it. I'm so sorry, I know how much you loved performing with those guys."

"What?" Blaine asked in pure disbelief. Yes, they had lost but they were so gonna win this year. They had had lots of meetings about it and the principal had agreed to give them another chance.

"I'm sorry." She said again.

"This isn't happening! They can't just cancel it! There is- _mom_, I can't go to a school with no showchoir!" He blurted out with wide eyes.

"Performing isn't everything, sweetie."

"To me it is!" He was full on yelling right now. "It's what I love to do, it's what I _live for!_"

"I know that, Blaine. But there is nothing we can do about this, I'm sorry. And stop yelling." She said firmly.

"I can transfer!" He said after a few moments of thinking.

"Transfer? To which school?" She asked in surprise.

"McKinley High, Mercedes go there! It's a pretty great school."

"Okay, I've heard the rumors, it's an awful school. It's lots of bullying going on-"

"Maybe so, but they have a showchoir! And I have friends there, it's not like I'm gonna be alone! And who says I'm gonna be a target?"

Okay, he didn't even believe that last part himself, of course he was gonna be a target. He had always been the target. But right now all he could think of was _Kurt goes to McKinley, I would get to see Kurt everyday, Kurt with the pink hair and those soft lips and blue eyes will be there._

"Blaine. I mean this in the best possible way," She started and made a small pause. "You're gay. And you're not afraid to show it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that but you know what happened at your previous schools, I will never let anything like that happen to you again."

"I know, mom. But it won't, okay? I promise I will always have a friend by my side and I'll be really careful. I can tone down my outfits and stuff. Just please, _please_ let me transfer." He sounded ridicilous begging like this, he hadn't even thought about it before until like two minutes ago.

"Blaine, never stop being yourself. I'm not asking you to dress differently. Just think about this over the night, okay? And if you still want to transfer tomorrow then fine, I'll let you."

Blaine almost jumped high in the air and shouted but he kept his act together by nodding furiously and smiling like an idiot.

"Okay, thanks mom!" He squealed and ran up the stairs again to tell Mercedes about the news.

* * *

"You're transfering to McKinley?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, isn't it awesome?" He said through the phone.

"Um… it depends on why you're doing it. If you're doing it to see me everyday then yes, it's awesome. But if you're doing it to see the ska- I mean Kurt, everyday then it's not cool."

"I'm not obsessed with him, Mercedes. And remember that _he_ was the one who walked up to _me_."

"Yeah I know, I know." She mumbled with a sigh.

"Look, I know you don't like him. But I do and I think he might like me as well."

There was silence on the other end, had she hung up the phone? Just when he was about to hang up himself she spoke.

"… What the hell makes you think that?"

"I-"

"Just because he walked up to you and says he thinks you're cute and stuff, which is totally creepy by the way. I mean, who sits on the fucking table with their legs spread open? That literally screams _blow me_! Anyway, that does not mean that he likes you, Blaine. Yes he gives you attention but it's just because he wants to get into your pants!"

"You know what, maybe I shouldn't transfer." He said after a long silence.

"Thank you, finally you realize that I'm right."

"No, Mercedes. It's not because I don't want to see him, it's because I don't want to see you." He said harshly. "I'm tired of you and your big mouth, it's my life and if I want to spend time with Kurt then I sure as hell will!"

With that he hung up the phone and threw it on his desk. Kurt liked him, he was sure of it. Sure, he didn't know him at all but still, he just knew it. Mercedes knew nothing, she was so small minded. He sighed and decided to study for a bit and then go for a ride. He needed to clear his head.

* * *

French, french, french… why did he choose french out of all the languages he could've chosen? He had a test this week and it was lots of studying, usually this wasn't a problem but they had gotten a new teacher and she was just mean. Most guys was okay with that because she was hot in their eyes, yes she was beautiful with her lean body, long legs and short skirts, but that was no excuse because she was too hard on them.

About two hours later he gave up and grabbed his keys.

Where do you drive when it's past 10 pm? Blaine sure as hell didn't know. The streets were dark, all the lights on the sidewalk was broken. Most likely destroyed by some rebelious kids. The only light he got came from the houses to his left. He sighed and let himself get further and further away from everything, after a while he found himself getting closer and closer to Lima…

TBC


	3. Chapter 3: Forgein touches in the night

**A/N: Smutty times ;) I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 3: Forgein touches in the night

Could it be? It couldn't…

Blaine could've sworn he just saw someone with pink hair sitting on the sidewalk. The only person with pink hair that Blaine knew was Kurt, but why would it be Kurt of all people? He was sure it was plenty of people with pink hair, he just hadn't met them.

No, this was Lima. He needed to check twice just to make sure.

He stopped the car in the middle of the road and got out. He made his way back to the guy in black clothes and pink hair. Once he got there he knew he was right, this was definetly Kurt.

"Kurt? What are you doing here?" He asked, confused.

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes unfocused and his lips slightly parted. He was drunk for sure.

"None of your damn business!" He slurred.

"You're drunk." Blaine stated.

"No? Are you serious?" He said sarcastically.

"Stand up, I'll give you a ride home. If you want to." Blaine offered.

"No. I can walk." Kurt tried to stand but fell onto his butt again. He groaned in pain and Blaine had to bite back a laugh. How could someone be so cute when they were drunk?

"I can see that."

"Shut the fuck up, Anderson!" He slurred and tried to stand, but held onto Blaine's arm to avoid falling again.

"Fuck, everything is spinning…" He covered his mouth with one hand.

"If you're gonna vomit, do it out here and not in my car."

"I'm not gonna go with you in your fucking ca- shit!" Blaine had barely moved away when Kurt threw his head to the side and vomited all over the ground.

When he was done he whimpered and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Fuck, Blaine, I just wanna go home…"

"Then follow me to the car and I'll take you home." Blaine said again.

"Fine…" Kurt finally agreed and let Blaine lead him to the car.

Blaine helped Kurt get into the backseat where he could lie down in case he needed to throw up again. Then he sat down in the driver's seat and began driving.

"Kurt, I don't know where you live so… you're gonna have to tell me when to turn."

"Have you ever thought about the fact that squirrels are homosexuals?" Kurt said randomly.

"What?"

"But all they do is walk around and suck on nuts all day, they're so fucking gay, Blaine. So fucking gay and stupid. And everyone loves squirrels right?"

"Uh… I haven't thought about that before."

"But everyone does! They love those fluffy little shits!" Blaine could barely make out Kurt's words anymore. "And if they love squirrels, the homos, then why can't they love human homos?"

"Kurt, squirrels aren't homosexual. If they were, then how would they mate?" Blaine said and bit back another laugh.

"I don't know? Maybe they're like seahorses! The dad can get pregnant!"

"Okay, I'm pretty sure they're not like that." Blaine shaked his head.

"How the fuck do you know that, Anderson?" Kurt snapped. "Are you some sort of squirrel expert?"

"No, I'm not but-"

"Then shut the fuck up!" Kurt yelled.

Blaine sighed deeply. "Just tell me where your house is."

"I don't know where the fuck my house is. I'm so fucking drunk I can't even remember my last name."

"It's Hummel."

"What's a Hummel?"

"It's you, it's your last name."

"That sounds fucking dumb."

"You know what, screw it. We're going to my house." Blaine gave up and made a U-turn.

* * *

"Kurt, Kurt… let go of me, there you go." Blaine groaned as he tried to quietly lead Kurt upstairs to his room, which was very difficult since Kurt could barely walk and was clinging onto Blaine.

"Don't wanna sleep." Kurt tried to protest but his body had given up long ago and he just fell onto Blaine's bed once he let go.

"Right." Blaine rolled his eyes and mumbled. "I'll just sleep on the floor then…"

He quietly walked into the guestroom to get the matress, doing his best to avoid waking his mom up.

Once he got back he could hear quiet snoring coming from Kurt. He rolled his eyes, preparing himself for a sleepless night. But it kinda didn't bother him because it was so cute coming from Kurt.

About 10 minutes (or an hour) later when he was just about to fall asleep Kurt spoke: "Are you gonna sleep down there?"

"Yes." Blaine's voice was thick with sleep.

"Can't you come sleep next to me?" Kurt slurred. "It's lonely up here."

Blaine bit his lip. "I don't think I should, Kurt."

"Please, Blaine. You know you… want to." Kurt pressed.

Blaine hesitated before sighing and got up from the matress which was killing his back anyway. He walked over to the bed and twisted for a minute before laying down next to Kurt.

"Kiss me." Kurt sighed and brought his hand up to Blaine's cheek.

Blaine didn't get a chance to do anything before Kurt's lips was on his. And Kurt was moving fast. Yes, he tasted like alcohol and yes, it was kind of sloppy and messy but god, it felt so good. His eyes rolled at the back of his head as Kurt brought his tongue into his mouth, licking every part of it.

"God, so good." Kurt moaned and started rubbing himself against Blaine's thigh.

Blaine's heart nearly stopped when he felt that Kurt was hard. Already. And he was hard for _him_. It was a pleasant thought, even though he knew it was wrong.

"Kurt, we can't-"

"Why not?" Kurt whined. "Don't tell me that you don't want me, cause I know you damn sure do."

"But for all the wrong reasons." Blaine sighed.

Kurt looked up at him through his eyelashes, even in the dark his blue eyes had that intensity that made Blaine's knees go weak.

"I'm not a slut." Kurt looked bitter and his eyes were suddenly very shiny, was he about to cry? "I know everybody says and thinks that I am. But I'm not."

Blaine stared into his eyes, they were unfocused but they looked so damn sincenere and didn't alcohol always bring out the truth?

"I don't think you are either." Blaine said and grabbed Kurt's wrist.

Kurt's lip twitched as if he almost smiled, then he started kissing him again. And this time Blaine let himself go. He believed Kurt, he knew it was stupid but he did. And besides, he wanted Kurt, he needed him, so he let himself get lost in the sensation.

He had never been with anyone before so he sort of didn't know what he was doing. He felt clumsy but Kurt didn't seem to care at all.

Kurt moved his hand down and started working his belt open. Everything happened so fast, Blaine had a hard time keeping up. Just then Kurt kicked his pants off and started tugging on Blaine's shirt. Blaine helped Kurt's sloppy fingers to work on the buttons, soon his shirt was gone and he blushed, feeling exposed. Kurt pulled away for a short while to stare at his toned, slightly hairy chest, he smirked.

"So fucking hot." He groaned and crashed their lips together again.

Blaine's face was on fire, hearing Kurt calling him hot, even though he was drunk, was the ultimate confidence boost.

Soon Kurt's shirt was gone and Blaine was nothing but mesmerized by the pale, slightly toned, completely hairless chest. He had the strange urge to swipe his tongue all over it.

So he did.

He kissed down Kurt's neck until he reached his chest, he kissed and licked all over it.

It might be weird, but Kurt tasted so good, even his skin tasted so good. Salty with sweat and then there was this taste that was so _Kurt_.

Kurt was a moaning mess when Blaine closed his mouth over one of his nipples. He didn't quite know what to do but then Kurt screamed "suck them" so Blaine did, praying to god that his mother hadn't heard that.

He was painfully hard and he ached to be touched, but Kurt's hands was doing nothing so far. Blaine reached down and brought his hand into his boxers, gripping his erection and moaned right away.

"No," Kurt protested and slapped his hand away. "That cock is _mine_." His eyes were so dark and it turned Blaine on to new levels he had never experience before. All he could get out was a needy moan.

Kurt flipped them over so he was hovering over Blaine, he smirked and started sucking and biting harsly at Blaine's nipples. Blaine had to bite his own hand to quiet down his in pleasured screams.

Kurt kissed his way down Blaine's stomach and licked into his belly button, Blaine whined and his hips left the bed, trying to get friction.

"So eager, my little virgin." Kurt sighed and pulled his boxers down.

Blaine was far too gone to feel embarrassed. And even if he did it wasn't necessary because Kurt's mouth was watering at the sight of his cock.

"Holy fuck, so big." Kurt breathed and Blaine wanted to cry.

Kurt licked along the pulsing vein on the back of Blaine's cock, then he closed his lips around the head and Blaine cried out in pleasure.

"Fuck!" He moaned.

Kurt smirked and pulled away, blowing cool air over it which made Blaine's whole body twitch.

"Please," He begged.

"So pathetic, Blaine. Begging for me to suck your big cock like this." Kurt slurred.

"Please," He repeated.

Kurt laughed at him before taking Blaine's whole length into his mouth, sucking with all his might until his cheeks were hollow.

Blaine knew he wasn't gonna last long, he was so close already. His breathing was frantic and his eyes shut tight, his mind swimming.

"So close," He breathed.

Just then Kurt pulled away, leaving Blaine wanting and needing and confused.

"W-Why did you- no, please don't stop." A few desperate tears had appeared in his eyes. He didn't think arousal could reach this level.

"I wanna see you bounce on my dick, Blaine." Kurt ordered.

Blaine moaned at the thought of having Kurt inside of him. He had fingered himself a few times and he knows how good _that _feels, he can't even imagine how incredible it must feel to have a real cock inside his tight heat.

"Lay down on your stomach."

Blaine did as he was told. Kurt reached into Blaine's drawer and smirked when he found a bottle of lube. He squeezed some into his hand and coated his cock and fingers.

Then his finger was on Blaine's ass, entering him. Blaine muffled his moans into the sheet. Kurt moved it around for a while before adding another one, scissoring him open.

Blaine felt so full, it hurt but it still felt so good and he just needed more, he needed to feel Kurt.

"I'm ready," Blaine informed him.

Kurt nodded and brought his fingers out of his asshole, wiping them on the sheets. He then sat up and patted on his lap.

"Sit down," He said.

Blaine bit his lip, hesitating.

"What about protection?"

"I'm clean, I tested myself last week and I haven't been with anyone since then."

Blaine nodded and then slowly started to sink down on Kurt's cock, only to stop halfway because the pain became too much.

"Fuck," He cried and a few tears rolled down his cheek.

"Take your time," Kurt soothed and kissed him.

When most of the pain was gone he sat down completely and Kurt was fully inside of him.

It was an amazing feeling. He had never, ever felt so close or connected to anyone in his life. He stared into Kurt's dark, but oh so blue, eyes and his racing heart skipped a beat.

Kurt was so beautiful like this, his hair damp and messy, his body glistening with sweat and his lips parted slightly. Blaine couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips.

"Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna fuck me already?" Kurt asked impatiently.

Blaine nodded and started moving up and then sat down again, a moan escaping both him and Kurt. He quickly found a pleasant speed but nothing seemed to ever be enough and they both just wanted more so eventually he was just _literally_ bouncing up and down, Kurt's cock slamming into him harshly.

"Fuck, Blaine, I'm gonna come!" Kurt breathed.

"Yessss, me too," Blaine moaned.

A few thrusts later Blaine was coming, white stripes squirting out of him and right onto Kurt who moaned at the sight.

Kurt followed shortly after, filling Blaine up with his come. Blaine gaped at the sight of it, how Kurt threw his head back and moaned his name, and the feeling of being filled with the hot liquid was simply outstanding.

Blaine climbed off of Kurt, whimpering at the loss of contact and then collapsed on the bed next to the beautiful boy who had just taken his virginity.

"I love you," Blaine whispered into the dark, but he didn't get an answer because Kurt was already asleep.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4: Chatty times in the afterglow

Chapter 4: Chatty times in the afterglow.

The next morning Blaine woke up he felt marvellous. Memories from last night filled up his mind when he looked over at the sleeping boy next to him.

Kurt was so beautiful when he was asleep. His guard was down and he looked so relaxed, he wasn't trying to be anyone he's not or impress anybody. He was just a boy, a very pretty boy who is gonna be so hungover when he wakes up.

There was a light knock at his door and Blaine panicked, his _mom. _

She had probably heard everything and now she was gonna kill him. He was sure of it. He carefully got up from the bed, wincing at the mess they had made and how sore he was.

He put on his clothes from yesterday, ran his hands through his hair and then sneaked out of his room.

Outside stood his mother in her bathrobe with her arms crossed over her chest. Her hair was messy and she looked pissed.

"G-Good morning, mom." He gave her a strained smile.

"Blaine Devon Anderson!" She whisper-shouted.

He sighed. "Yes, mom." He looked down at his hands.

"What have I said, huh? What have I said about bringing boys home without my permission? And what in the world were you thinking when you decided to have sex with him? I heard everything, Blaine, _everything_. And that was something I was praying to the lord, wishing that I would never hear." She made a short pause to just glare at him. "It's about respect, Blaine. You don't have sex when your mother is in the house and can hear most of it. You are grounded for the rest of you life. Now, go wake up _Kurt_ and ask him to go home."

With that she turned around and walked downstairs. Blaine had never been more ashamed in his life.

He walked back into his room and shaked Kurt. "Kurt." He shaked him harder when he got no response. "Kurt, wake up!"

Kurt looked up through half lidded eyes and messy, pink strands of his bangs that were hanging down in his face. "Huh? Where the fuck am I?"

"You're at my house… in my bed." Blaine cleared his throat awkwardly, trying not to blush.

"How did I..?" Kurt looked around himself, then noticed his naked body. "Oh, that. Right. Okay."

"We had sex, yeah." Blaine's face was completely red. "Look, you need to leave, now. My mom's really upset."

Kurt forced back a laugh. "You're mom's upset?" He was mocking him.

"Yeah, she heard us." Blaine sighed.

"Oh, you were a loud one." Kurt purred and bit his lip. "Too bad I can't remember it all."

"Shut up, just get dressed and leave." Blaine ran his hand through his hair.

"And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Walk? I live in Lima, remember?"

"Take the bus or something."

"And where am I supposed to buy a ticket?"

"Fine! I'll drive you if you just hurry up!" Blaine groaned and grabbed a random outfit to go change in the bathroom.

"Would you chill the fuck out, my head is killing me." Kurt called after him.

* * *

About 10 minutes later they were seated in Blaine's car. They were driving in complete silence, not even the radio was on, mostly because of Kurt's headache.

"Would you mind putting you seatbelt on?" Blaine asked, his eyes never leaving the road.

Kurt was sitting with his legs up on the glove compartment and his right arm outside the window, giving the people on the sidewalk the finger.

"Why?"

"Because you're in my car."

"And is there a damn law that says-"

"Yes, Kurt, there is. Put the damn seatbelt on or you can walk from here."

"Holy shit, what has gotten in to you?" Kurt put his hands up in surrender before he did as he was told.

"I'm embarrassed, okay? My mom heard us last night and… god, how am I supposed to look her in the eyes again?"

"Okay, first of all, if you tell me what to do again you will regret it. And secondly, it'll pass. She'll get over it."

Blaine didn't answer.

"So, how does it feel?" Kurt's smile was so smug and Blaine wanted to stop the car and kiss it away. And maybe bounce some on his cock again.

_Jesus christ. These thoughts just keep coming. No pun intended._

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. Your face is so red I can see that you know what I mean."

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Okay. Like I said last night, I'm not a fucking slut. I don't just fuck and leave."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and gave him a look.

"Okay, sure, sometimes I do." Kurt rolled his eyes. "But I'm not some sex addict who doesn't give a fuck about the people I fuck. So fuck you, Blaine Anderson, if that's what you think of me. And for your information, I've never taken anyones virginity before."

"I guess I feel… sore." He admitted.

"Yeah. I bet you'll feel my big dick for days." Kurt's mouth was awfully close to his ear. "I bet it's all you can think about because you can feel it in every step you take. And everybody will see it in the way you walk, everyone will know you've been fucked."

"K-Kurt, stop that…" Blaine breathed.

"Why? Scared you'll drive off the road?"

"Mhm…"

Kurt cackled and withdrew his face, he looked out the window again.

"What is it about you?" Blaine asked after a while.

Kurt gave him a questioning look.

"Why does everybody want you?" Blaine was dead serious.

"I don't know? I suppose they're falling for my pheromones." Kurt grinned.

Blaine shaked his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I think that's a question you should ask yourself, since you obviously wanted me last night."

"Excuse me, you made the first move."

Kurt snorted. "Yeah, I wanted to end your misery."

"My misery?"

"Come on, Blaine, you know exactly what I mean. You were drooling like a fucking lovestruck puppy and after I kissed you your body was responding faster than lightning."

Blaine felt his entire face heat up, then stopped the car.

"We're at your house."

Kurt looked out.

"Sweet," He took the seatbelt off and opened the door.

"Wait," Blaine grabbed Kurt's arm. "When will I see you again?"

Kurt stared at him with those blue eyes and his face broke into a grin. "In your dreams, baby." He winked and then he was gone.

Blaine was in some sort of hypnotized condition as he could not move a single finger. There was something about that boy with the pink hair that made everything difficult for him: speaking, thinking, moving and it also took away all his self control. It was fucking annoying at the same time as it was fucking amazing. And the worst part:

Blaine wanted more.

He had realized that Kurt might not be exactly what he expected, but Mercedes and the others were still wrong. He was no slut or whore, he was just a boy. A very attractive boy. He had also realized that he could get his heart broken pretty badly, but it was worth every risk.

_Oh Kurt Hummel, it would be an honor to get my heart broken by you._

Blaine bit his lip as he slowly turned around and began his long ride home.

* * *

Once he got inside the house he could smell pancakes. He made his way into the livingroom where his mom was waiting for him with a pile of pancakes and a jar of nutella.

His mom did have her moments.

"I'm home." He announced and slowly walked forward, like she was some dangerous animal that would attack and bite his head off if he got too close.

"Great," She didn't even look at him.

"Mom, it was a mistake. Are you gonna be mad at me forever?" He sighed.

"Sit down," She said and patted the seat next to her.

Blaine sat down, biting his lip.

"I know that you're growing up, alright? I know that you're going on dates and that you're getting intimate with people. And I have nothing against that, as long as you protect yourself, and as long as you don't do it when I'm home. We talked about this when we had _the talk_." His mom reminded him.

Blaine looked down at his hands. "I didn't plan on it. I just saw him sitting drunk on the sidewalk. I don't know where he live and he was too drunk to tell me so I had to take him back to our house. He passed out on my bed so I was going to sleep on the matress but then he asked me to lie next to him, and my back was killing me so I did. Then he made the first move and… I've been in love with him for months so I just… I don't know what happened. I couldn't say no. I didn't want to say no. It was like I completely forgot about where I was or who I am, all that I could see and hear was him."

He carefully met his mom's eyes. Her face was unreadable.

"You're still grounded until I decide that you aren't," She said as matter of factly, "But we can forget about this, alright? I get that it was a mistake and I can tell that you're feeling pretty guilty."

"Thanks, mom. I love you." He smiled and hugged her tightly, feeling relieved.

"But if it happens again I'll kill you _and_ him." She half-joked and let go.

"So, now tell me about this guy."

"Well, his name is Kurt Hummel. He's 18... I think, he goes to McKinley High and obviously lives in Lima. He uh, has pink hair and a pretty bad reputation but he's a good guy. I don't really know much more about him."

"So you just… did it with a guy you barely know?" His mom's eyebrows shot up right to her hairline.

"Yeah, but… come on, like you haven't?" He sighed and put a pancake on his plate.

His mom's lips became a thin line. "You know what, let's just eat."

* * *

Later on when he was seated in his room, finishing that french homework, his phone beeped.

_Blaine, I wanna apologize. Can we meet up? - Mercedes._

Blaine smiled, he was glad she finally texted him. He had missed his bestie, even if they had only been apart for like a day. Still, when you're fighting with the people you love it can feel like you've been apart an eternity.

_Sure. Where? - Blaine._

_How about Breadstix? I'll buy you lunch! :) - Mercedes._

Blaine smiled and made his way down the stairs. He grabbed his thin jacket and got into his car. It was a pretty long drive since Breadstix was in Lima. When he finally got there Mercedes was already waiting for him.

The first thing she did was attacking him in a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine!" Her voice was muffled against his shoulder. "I know I crossed the line and you should date whoever you want. And you were right, I don't know him. I could be wrong. I just hate fighting with you, please forgive me?"

Blaine pulled away and looked her in the eyes with a fond smile across his face. "Mercedes, of course I forgive you. Yes, you overstepped but it's okay. It only means you care about me."

"Oh, thank god." She said with a relieved smile. "So, shall I buy you lunch or what?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to, come on!" She giggled and linked their arms together like old times, when they were kids.

That's actually a nice gesture that brings back lots of memories. When Blaine was in kindergarten he was lonely, he had no friends because already then he was different. No one wanted to play with him and no one understod his early obsession with bowties. So he always sat alone on the floor, coloring. One day this really cute black girl with a bow in her curly hair sat down next to him.

"_Why are you alone?" _She had asked.

He had shrugged. _"Because nobody wants to play with me."_

"_I want to." _She had said and smiled, linking their arms together for the first time. _"We can be best friends if you want to."_

He had been so happy and smiley when he realized he just made a friend. He had nodded frantically. _"Yes, yes." He had said._

They had been besties ever since. As they grew older they realized they both loved showchoir and colorful outfits. And of course, their common crush on boys.

Even though Mercedes went to church she had been very accepting of him. She believed you were born the way you are and she didn't judge him. She just hugged the 14-year-old Blaine and said it was okay. And that she'd protect him from bullies. She was the greatest friend you could ask for, really.

But after that Mercedes and her family moved to Lima. Blaine thought it was the end of the world but it really wasn't, it's only an hour and 40 minute drive, so it's going fine.

"So, what do you want?" Mercedes asked as they were seated by a table.

"I'll take the chicken salad." He mumbled. "I've had so many pancakes for breakfast that I need to do my body a favour."

She giggled. "Alright, chicken salad it is."

After the food had arrived at the table they settled into a comfortable silence. It wasn't awkward but Blaine knew that when Mercedes was quiet she was usually upset or she had something on her mind. This time it had to be the latter.

"Okay, what is it?" Blaine asked and raised an eyebrow.

"It's just… you seem different somehow." She furrowed her brows. "You walk different and you just… I don't know, you're different. Not in a bad way though."

Blaine swallowed the piece of chicken he had in his mouth. "I'm not different."

"It's something. What is it?"

He sighed. She just wasn't ever gonna give up, was she?

"Alright, alright. Just… promise to not make a scene? And remember what you said earlier about me getting to date whoever I want."

Her eyes widened and he could see how she inhaled a huge amount of breath to get out what she wanted to say.

"No! Wait, don't say anything."

She snapped her mouth shut.

"Yesterday after our fight," He began slowly. "I went for a late night drive. I saw someone on the sidewalk and it was Kurt. So I stopped my car and walked out to see if he was alright. He was drunk, very much so. I tried to talk to him but it didn't really work so I had to take him to my place since he couldn't even tell me where he lives. Then he sort of… made a move and we… uh… had sex."

Silence had never been louder.

Blaine was waiting for the explosion he knew would happen.

"Oh," She said quietly.

"Please don't freak out."

"I'm not going to," She said. "You know how I feel about him and I assume you can guess my thoughts on this but I'm not going to say anything. It's not my business. But… can I ask some questions? Like normal questions a bestie would ask." A small smile was playing on her lips.

Blaine was shocked. She wasn't gonna kill him? This was going better than he could've ever dreamed of.

"Yes, sure, of course." He nodded.

"How was it?" She asked, suddenly way more enthusiastic.

"It was amazing," He sighed. "He was so good, even though it was a little sloppy."

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes, a little bit. But then it just felt good." He could feel himself blushing.

"Did you… blow him?"

"Mercedes!"

"What? You said I could ask!"

"No, I didn't. He… did. On me."

"Oh my god! How did it feel?"

"Good." He was basically a human tomato.

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I don't. I mean sure, it happened a little soon and it was completely unexpected. But I think some things are better when they're unexpected. Because sometimes you plan them too much and everything is so detailed. This was just spontaneous and fun."

She nodded. "So, are you two like dating now?"

"No," He shaked his head. "I don't think so. But we will." He smiled. "God, Mercedes, he's so perfect."

She leaned back in her chair, doubt was plastered all over her face.

"Alright. As long as you're happy, then I'm happy." She smiled a little. "But please be careful."

"I promise, okay?" He smiled back.

"Okay."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5: Bitches, skanks and hoes

Chapter 5: Bitches, skanks and hoes.

Oh boy. Transfering schools were much harder than Blaine Anderson had ever imagined. It involve loads of tears, lots of hugs, lots of goodbyes, lots of singing and a few cheek kisses.

But once that is done, you feel sort of… empty. At least Blaine did. He knew he wouldn't see his friends as often anymore. But he that knew he did what he needed to do.

The one thing he noticed first when he took his first step into the McKinley High hallway was that nobody gave a fuck.

Until they did.

The jocks came at him first. They showered him with slushies and pushed him into lockers. He got called _gay_ and _faggot_ during his very first class. And the teachers didn't do anything about it. He was truly baffled by the low standards and peoples behavior at this school.

He knew the world was cruel, of course he did, he's not an idiot. But he had always sort of avoided that part of it. In kindergarten nobody knew what gay, fag or homosexual was or meant. And after that he had moved up to Dalton Academy, the school with a zero tolerance bullying policy. Nobody had made fun of him for his sexuality, everybody had been supportive and helped him through it. And he walked around most of the time in his warbler outfit which was a blazer, a button down and a tie. Nobody could have guessed that he was gay if they had just looked at him.

But McKinley didn't have school uniforms, so he could dress in his "grandpa clothes", as Mercedes called them. And everybody seemed to have awesome gay-dar, because after one look at him they spit a mean comment at him or shoved him. It was horrible. And since Mercedes got the flu just on this fucking day, he was alone. Which meant he had to eat his first lunch in the boys bathroom.

He hadn't eaten much though, he just spent most of the time crying because his shoulder was killing him and he was freezing because of the slushies. He felt lonely and couldn't see Kurt anywhere. He just wanted to go home.

* * *

He walked up to the large board in the hallway and looked at all the papers that were pinned up, his eyes searching for Glee club. When he finally found it he saw that anyone could audition and they were apparently in the choir room on the bottom floor. He hurried down the stairs and looked around until he found the choir room. It was empty so he took a seat and decided to wait until someone came in. Lunch ended any minute anyway.

"Hello?" An adult, male voice said and Blaine looked up from his phone.

A man in his early 30s was standing by the piano in the room, frowning down at him. The man was kinda tall and had curly, brown hair. He was muscular, probably a dancer, and he was wearing a vest.

"Hey," Blaine said and stood up. "My name is Blaine Anderson, I'm new here and I would like to audition for Glee club."

The man smiled. "Welcome, Blaine. My name is Mr Schue, but you can call me . You can audition when the others arrive, if you are prepared?"

Blaine nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Sweet," Mr Schue said and walked up to the board. "This weeks theme is Love, by the way."

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Theme?"

"Yes. We have a theme each week. Like I said, this week's theme is love which means the kids can only sing songs that has to do with love. Last week was Britney Spears week, they loved it a little too much, I think." He chuckled. "But if you had not prepared a love song that is perfectly fine."

"I actually had prepared a love song." Blaine blushed.

"Oh, very well then!" Mr Schue clapped his hands.

"Uh… can I ask a question?" Blaine hesitated.

"Of course," said with another little too big smile.

"Is Kurt Hummel in Glee club?" He had to know.

Mr Schue's smile fell. "He used to be," He said. "He was really good at it, too. But then he quit. At least I think he did, he never comes here anymore."

"Oh," Blaine sighed. "That… sucks."

"Do you know Mr Hummel?"

"I do, yes. I've uh… met him a couple of times."

Just then the bell rang and students started to join them in the room. When they were all seated had them introduce themselves to Blaine:

Two asians named Tina Cohen-Chang and Mike Chang. One short, jewish girl named Rachel Berry. One boy with a mohawk, Noah Puckerman. Two cheerios named Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. One kid in a wheelchair, Artie Abrams and one blonde boy with big lips, Sam Evans.

"Alright, we've got someone who wants do audition." Mr Schue said happily and sat down. "Go ahead, Blaine!"

Then the stage was his. Somehow he was nervous as hell.

"Hi, I'm Blaine Anderson and I'll be singing Hopelessly Devoted To You, from my favorite musical, Grease."

The music started playing and Blaine closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

_Guess mine is not the first heart broken,  
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,  
there's just no gettin' over you _

He opened his eyes, the others seemed fairly impressed. It gave him a little bit of courage.

_I know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around  
and wait for you  
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else  
for me to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you _

Everybody hummed along to the music and they were all smiling. For the first time today Blaine felt like maybe he belonged.

_But now there's nowhere to hide,  
since you pushed my love aside I'm out of my head,  
hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you,  
hopelessly devoted to you_

Blaine finished and not until the others clapped could he look away. He was blushing like an idiot as he ran back to his old seat.

"Very well, Blaine!" Mr Schue said and stood up. "Welcome to Glee!"

The others clapped and cheered. Blaine felt pride rise inside of him.

Soon they were all getting started on their groop assignments. They were gonna pick out a love song and complete against the other groups, the winner would get some sort of prize by the end of the week. Blaine joined Santana, Brittany and Artie.

When the lesson came to an end everybody hurried out of the classroom. It was the end of the day after all. Blaine was on a mission: to find Kurt.

* * *

He looked around the back of the school but found nothing but jocks and cheerleaders, he searched through the different classrooms but found nothing.

Eventually he walked up to a random girl with red hair, she seemed nice.

"Excuse me," He said. She turned around.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you may know where I can find Kurt Hummel." He smiled politely.

Her eyebrows shot up in her hairline. "Uh, he's most likely under the huge stage on the field behind the school. It's where the skanks hang out."

"Thank you." He said with yet another smile.

"I'd watch out though, Kurt is trouble." She warned.

Blaine rolled his eyes. Didn't anybody have any faith in him?

"I'm sure I'll be alright." He said dryly and left her alone.

* * *

When he found beer bottle smashed into the ground and lots of fag-ends scattered all around the grass, he realized this must be it. It smelled really weird, kinda toxic to him. He could hear some laughing from underneath the stage so he shrugged and walked in.

There was a cloud of smoke in there and he started coughing, trying to cover his mouth with his hand.

The laughter stopped and suddenly he felt a grip around his arm, pushing him out of there.

He looked up to see a girl with short, pink hair, a nose ring and a crop top stare down at him.

"And what the fuck are you supposed to be?" She asked in a mocking tone.

"I'm Blaine Anderson, would you let me go now, please?"

"Why are you here?"

"I'm looking for Kurt." He explained.

She raised both of her eyebrows and a devilish grin spread across her face. "Kurt!" She called.

Kurt walked out from the cloud of smoke, holding a cigarette himself. "What is it Fabray?" He stopped his tracks when he saw Blaine.

"Is this your new boy-toy, Kurt?" She asked casually.

"He's not my boy-toy. Would you mind getting the fuck out of here?" For a split second Blaine thought Kurt was talking to him, but judging from Quinn's shocked face expression he must have talked to her.

"Excuse me?" She gasped.

"You heard me."

She huffed something and then let Blaine go. "Have fun." She said and walked away to light another cigarette.

"Hi," Blaine said quietly.

Kurt turned around and exhaled some of the smoke right in Blaine's direction. Blaine coughed slightly. More laughter could be heard and by now the other skanks had made their way out.

There was a brunette girl, a black girl, a boy with blue hair and another blonde girl with red lipstick. They were all looking amused by the sight.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Kurt asked with a frown.

"Well, I- I asked around."

Kurt rolled his eyes and inhaled once more before he dropped the cigarette and crushed it with his boot. "What is it, then?"

"I uh, just wanted to let you know that I have transfered to McKinley and I was kinda looking for you."

"Isn't that cute?" Quinn purred behind Kurt.

"Shut the fuck up, Fabray." Kurt spit at her. "Go make out with Joanna or something."

She laughed and then turned on her heel and walked away.

"Why did you do that?" Kurt seemed honestly confused.

"Well, the main reason is cause Dalton's show choir is kinda over and I can't go to a school without a show choir."

"So let me guess, you joined _Glee club_?"

"I did, yes." Blaine smiled.

Kurt snorted. "That fag club."

Blaine stared at him with wide eyes. "Fag club? Why would you call it that? said you even joined."

"Yeah, in sophomore year when I was a little weak loser," Kurt spit. "Do you know how many fucking slushie facials that club gave me? Not worth it. And judging from your strained shirt, I can tell you have gotten a few too."

Blaine swallowed thickly. "Well, I think it is. They loved my performance and I'm in."

"Of course you're in. Everybody gets in." Kurt said. "It's a fucking loser club, they have to let everybody in if they're even gonna have members!"

"Don't talk about them like that. They're really talented." Blaine suddenly felt very defensive.

"Let me get this straight, Anderson. I will talk about whatever the fuck I want however the fuck I want, got it? Don't like it, then don't fucking talk to me. It's that simple."

Blaine suddenly felt really hurt. This wasn't the Kurt he had been talking to this weekend. "Why are you acting like this?" His voice was below a whisper.

"Acting like what?"

"You're mean." Blaine looked up with tearfilled eyes. "You weren't like this when we…"

"Fucked? No, because I was drunk as a fucking horse!" Kurt shaked his head at him. "When are you gonna get it, I don't do boyfriends."

"Fine, I guess I should go then." Blaine's lower lip had started thrembling and the last thing he wanted to do was to start crying infront of them.

"Yeah, I guess you should. Bye, good luck with loser club." Kurt snorted and then walked back to the skanks while Blaine walked away with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh, Kurtsie, such a heartbreaker." Quinn sighed dramatically.

"Shut the fuck up," Kurt said and ignored the twist in his stomach. "Let's get back to what we were doing."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6: Party at the Berry's

Chapter 6: Party at the Berry's.

The next day of school didn't exactly go smoother. Neither did the one after that. It was like a routine: first they slushied him, then shoved him, then the Glee club took care of him, helping him wash off the slushie and then there was more shoving throughout the day. But he somehow started to feel less lonely, because they really did take care of him. They let him borrow a shirt if he had used up all his extras, they sat together with him at lunch, they talked and laughed with him, they sang together with him and honestly, he couldn't have asked for better friends.

He was happy. He really was.

"Faggot!" Called a voice before he felt his back collide with the locker behind him.

Damn, that hurt like hell.

Last night when he had taken off his shirt, he had discovered that he was completely blue and covered in bruises. His back and left arm was killing him. But it was still better than the ice cold slushies. He cringed at the thought of it.

"Are you okay, Blaine?" Rachel asked with frown.

"Yeah, fine." He sighed and picked up his bag from the floor.

She smiled sadly at him. "I know it ain't easy."

He smiled back. "Let's just get to class, shall we?"

* * *

"So, I was thinking about throwing a sleep over party this Friday!" Rachel said at lunch and clapped her hands. "My dad's are out of town and we could sing karaoke!"

"Oh, yay. Another Rachel Berry loser party." Santana rolled her eyes.

"I think it sounds fun." Brittany smiled. "I'd love to come."

Santana sighed. "I guess I'm in too, then."

"I'm in too." Mike said with a nod.

"If I get bored enough." Puck mumbled.

"I suppose I could stop by…" Tina sighed.

"I will come for sure, Rachel." Blaine said with a smile.

"I'll be there." Sam said.

"Me too." Artie nodded.

"Sweet! It will be so much fun!" Rachel clapped her hands.

Blaine smiled at her and then looked down at his meal. He was excited for the party, but his mind seemed to wander all the time. It wandered to piercing blue eyes and pink hair.

"Are you okay there, Blainy-days?" Tina asked.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up. "What? Yeah, fine."

* * *

After lunch it was time for Glee club. Mr. Schue held some speech about how they really needed to step up their game if they're gonna win Nationals. Blaine wasn't really listening though he pretended to. What Kurt had said really hurt him even if he knew this would eventually happen, having sex absolutely did not mean that any feelings were involved. But Blaine's feelings had decided to absolutely get involved, hell, they had been involved from the beginning.

The bell rang and the kids started to leave the classroom. Blaine's feet felt heavy so his walking became rather slow. He looked up and realized a picture he had never seen before was hanging on the wall. It was a picture of a handsome, young man. It said: Finn Hudson 1995-2012 with the quote: "The show must go… all over the place… or something."

"Who is this?" Blaine had to ask.

Rachel walked up behind him with a sad smile across her face. "That is Finn Hudson, he used to go to school with us. But he… he died last summer."

Blaine's eyes widened. "He died? But… he was only 17."

"Yeah, he was very young. He was a great singer and drummer, not a brilliant dancer but… he was glee. He was one of the first ones that joined, he's the reason some of the jocks are in here, Puck for example. He was the first popular kid to join and he made a huge difference. Finn had the kindest and biggest heart I know." Rachel was getting emotional, her eyes was shining with tears. "He was the love of my life. And he was Kurt's brother. Not like related or anything but, his dad married Finn's mom."

Blaine wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry." He repeated.

She pulled away and wiped her tears. "I'm not. I smile because... because he lived." She nodded. "The memories will forever be in here." She put her hands over her heart.

"Yeah. He looks like a kind person." Blaine smiled. "Why haven't I seen the picture before?"

Rachel's face expression darkened. "One of the skanks were in here a while ago and they covered everything in toilet paper and they destroyed a few things. That picture being one of them."

Blaine gasped. "How could they? If he was Kurt's brother?"

She shrugged. "All I know is that we haven't seen the one who did it since then. I'm guessing Kurt gave him hell."

Blaine nodded. "How are you… I mean, how did you move on?"

"I don't think I have, Blaine. I don't think I ever will. You learn to live with it, the fact that he's gone. Mostly because you have to and because that's what he would have wanted." She made a pause. "Though when I found out that he was gone I thought I was gonna die. I was so afraid of everything, I locked myself inside and I refused to deal with it. But then I realized that the others are suffering just as much, he was their friend too after all. So we sang about it, we had a funeral and we cried a lot. But then one day we just… stopped. And we started smiling again. We found closure in eachother." She smiled. "We still talk about him sometimes, so it's like he's still here. We want people to know who he was so that's why we put that picture up. That way we wouldn't forget."

"It's a very beautiful thing to do." Blaine smiled. "But… did he really say that?"

Rachel laughed. "Yeah, he did. He might not have been the smartest guy on the planet but… he had his moments."

"I bet he did."

Rachel sighed. "Come on, let's go home."

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

"So, how was school?" His mom asked once he got home.

He hadn't told her about the bullying. Making her worried wasn't going to change the situation for him, so it was better if she didn't know.

"It was great." It wasn't a lie, he enjoyed school. He loved his friends from Glee, the only problem was the jocks. But whatever. He'll suffer through it.

"That's good." She smiled and joined him by their kitchen table. "Any plans for the weekend?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking about going to Rachel's party tomorrow."

"Oh." His mom narrowed her eyes. "Will there be alcohol?"

"I doubt it." Blaine lied.

"Alright. But if I find your ass drunk at the door I swear to god you'll be grounded for ten years."

He put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, jesus."

Driving to Lima all the time was very expensive, he ran out of gass all the time. So just this evening when he asked his mom for more gassmoney (so he wouldn't miss Rachel's party) she said something very unexpected.

"Look, Blaine. I was thinking… you like this school, am I right?" She asked and took off her reading glasses.

He nodded.

"And most of your friends live in Lima?"

He nodded again.

She sighed. "Well, I was thinking that maybe we should just buy a house in Lima. I know I said gassmoney wouldn't be a problem, and it isn't, but I think it would just make the entire situation easier."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Oh my god, are you serious?" He squealed.

"Yes, I'm serious." She smiled.

"Oh my god, mom!" He repeated and hugged her tightly. "Yes, I'd love that."

"Then it's decided." She smiled and hugged him back.

* * *

Rachel's house was rather large, she obviously came from a pretty rich family. He didn't see much of the inside since they immediately sent him down the basement, which is where the part was held. In the basement there was a stage, two microphones, two couches, a small table and another table where all the alcohol was placed. The music was loud and everyone had already began drinking.

"Wow." Blaine swallowed thickly. He had never been to a party before.

"Come on, Blaine! Grab a drink!" Tina giggled.

"I don't know, I don't drink… we're underage."

"Oh my god, boring ass queer!" Santana groaned from the couch. "It's a fucking party, what do you think you do at a party?"

"You get wasted!" Puck filled in for her.

"And make out with people." Brittany added.

"Oh yes we do." Santana winked and locked lips with her again.

Blaine stood still and blinked a few times. "Oh."

"Here, Blaine." Rachel said with a smile. "Take this and you'll feel less uptight."

"Absolut vodka?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Absolutely." She winked.

"I don't know about this."

She sighed. "Look, I won't force you. But it will make you feel better and everything will be more fun! We're all friends here, nobody is gonna get hurt. We're like a family."

"Yeah." Mike agreed. "We take care of eachother."

"Yeah, totally. And besides, I'm not gonna get drunk since I'm gonna drive these drunk asses home." Sam laughed. "So I'll make sure nothing gets too crazy."

Blaine looked down at the bottle with the blue text. He shrugged, what the hell.

And then he took a huge sip.

Fucking fuck it burned like a fire. He coughed and coughed and coughed and considered throwing up before calming down.

Santana and Brittany cheered and clapped their hands from the couch.

"Yeah, let's get this party started! Holaaaa!" Artie yelled with his hands in the air.

"Who wants to sing some karaoke?!" Rachel screamed and ran up on stage.

"Oh, hell nah Berry!" Santana got up on the stage. "This one is mine."

"Oh hell _nah_ Lopez!" Rachel winked. "This one is for the one who wins."

Then _I kissed a girl_ started playing and honestly, both girls killed it. They sang like never before and they had that intensity in their eyes. If Blaine didn't know better, he'd think Rachel was a lesbian because of the way she and Santana were grabbing onto eachother.

The other girls and boys cheered as they got up on their feet, dancing along with eachother.

"Come on, dance with me!" Brittany said and grabbed Blaine's hand. She wrapped her arms around his neck and in a matter of seconds she was grinding against him.

Blaine didn't mind though, he liked the attention and he loved dancing. He had to admit, Brittany was hot as hell and she was one hell of a dancer. He didn't know if it was the alcohol starting to kick in, but he had this strange urge to make out with her.

He didn't even have time to consider it before her lips were on his. It was all tongue and teeth and she was practically sucking on his lips and his tongue. He couldn't help the moan escaping his throat.

"Fuck yeah, Blaine." She giggled. "So hot."

They continued to dance like that until the song ended and Santana was next to him, dragging Brittany away from him.

"Fuck you, Blaine. She's my girlfriend." She spit at him. "_No me gusta."_

He felt dizzy somehow and he didn't even notice the others staring. He felt fucking great, he had no idea it could feel that good to kiss, let alone make out, with a girl. It made him sort of confused but in the heat of the moment he didn't care, he just took another large sip of the drink and then continued to dance with the others who had already returned to their own business.

"I didn't know you were into girls." Rachel smirked later when they sat in a circle, playing spin the bottle.

"Neither did I. I'm not even sure that I am." He admitted.

"Who cares what he's into, I certainly hope I get Blaine because damn that kiss looked yummy." Tina smirked.

"Yeah, so do I." Puck nodded furiously.

They all laughed and then Blaine spinned the bottle. It landed on the person next to him on the other side, Sam.

"Damn it!" Tina and Puck said at once.

"Oh, looks like I get the honors." Sam smiled. "Come here!" He leaned forward and smashed their lips together.

And yes, kissing Sam felt good. Kissing Sam felt very, very good. His lips were big but oh so soft and Blaine wanted to go on forever.

But eventually Sam pulled back with a grin spread across his now red lips. "They're right, you are good."

Blaine blushed. "Shut up."

They continued to play until everyone had kissed everyone at least twice and then they danced some more, Blaine sang a duet with Rachel and then they all kind of blacked out.

* * *

The next time Blaine opened his eyes everything was blurry and bright. He blinked a few times and tried to sit up, but it was like getting hit in the head and he fell down again.

Oh, so this is what being hungover feels like.

He could hear some giggling which sounded like loud laughter to him. "Fuck." He heard himself groan.

"The first hungover is always the worst." He heard Mike say.

"Fuck man, I don't even remember my first." Puck said.

"Here," He heart Rachel's voice closer to him. "Take the aspirin and drink some water, you'll feel better soon."

He forced himself to sit up and he finally opened his eyes. He was lying on the basement floor, red cups and empty bottles surrounding him. The others had already woken up, but they still looked like shit with their messy hair and smeared makeup.

Just as he was about to grab the glass of water he could feel his stomach flipping upside down and the urge to puke hit him like a title wave.

"Bathroom is upstairs right to the left!" Rachel yelled and forced him to stand up.

He ran up those stairs as fast as he could and barely made it to the bathroom before he started puking his guts out.

Afterwards he felt terrible, it did nothing to make his headache better.

He groaned as he made his way down the stairs again. He grabbed the water from Rachel and swallowed down the pill with it.

"Fuck." He sighed.

Just then he noticed that he was shirtless.

"Where… where is my shirt?" He asked with a frown.

The others started looking around the room. "Oh, here it is." Tina said and handed it to him.

He blushed as he put it on. "How did I… lose it?"

"We might have gone a little crazy." Brittany said with a giggle.

Blaine's eyes doubled its size about the same time as Santana looked ready to kill.

"WHAT?" They screamed at once.

"No, no. We didn't have sex." She rolled her eyes. "But I asked if I could see your abs and you took off your shirt." She smiled.

"Oh." He felt relief wash over him. The last thing he wanted was to make a girl pregnant.

"Fuck you, Blaine." Santana spit at him. Then she turned to Brittany. "Britt, are you serious?"

"I'm sorry, San. But I thought you wanted an open relationship." Brittany looked honestly confused.

"Well, I… I changed my mind." She sounded defeated.

"Okay," Brittany smiled and walked over and wrapped her arms around Santana. "I love your sweet lady kisses the most anyway."

Santana smiled and pecked her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." Brittany said back.

"Okay." Blaine scratched the back of his head. "Am I the only one who's starving?"

"No, I'm hungry as fuck." Sam said and rubbed his belly.

"Alright, let's order some pizza." Rachel smiled.

"Pizza for breakfast?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's the perfect hungover food." Puck said with a wink.

"Alright." Blaine put his hands up in surrender.

* * *

Blaine felt relieved when he saw the note from his mom on the kitchen table.

_I'm at work, I have the night shift._

_See you tomorrow night. I hope you made it home alright._

_Call me if you need anything._

_Love you!_

_- Mom._

So she wasn't gonna be home until tonight. Perfect, then she never had to know about how much he had been drinking.

He honestly just wanted to go back to bed, he still felt a little nauseous, pizza was _not_ the perfect hungover food.

He groaned as he laid back on his bed. "Fuck."

_BEEP!_

Seriously? He reached for his phone.

_I'm feeling a lot better now. I'll be at school on Monday :) do you wanna meet up today? -Mercedes_

The light from the screen felt like someone was digging into his eyes with a power drill so he typed out a quick reply.

_I'm sorry, I'm so hungover, I went to a party at Rachel's and now I just wanna die in peace in my bed. -Blaine_

_Oh my god, I can't believe I missed it! Well, I hope you feel better soon! -Mercedes_

He put the phone away and closed his eyes.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7: Marks from the past

**A/N: I've gotten a lot of comments saying that Kurt and Blaine had sex a bit too soon, which I completely understand. But that was sort of the point since Blaine was crazy about Kurt and I kind of wanted that to happen soon so they would have this thing between them, if that makes sense? When you lose your virginity to someone you feel a deeper connection to them, that's what I wanted Blaine to have with Kurt. I hope you can all understand that :) and please keep reviewing, reading them makes my day! I love you all! **

**Oh, and I'd just like to say that I screamed out of joy when Chris won the award for favorite comedic actor, SO PROUD OF HIM!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Marks from the past.

It was Sunday and Blaine had just had lunch with Mercedes, giving her all the juicy details about the party. The only thing he didn't mention was the little makeout session with Brittany.

Now he was alone again. But he didn't feel like going back home, so he decided to take a walk around in Lima, maybe visit that playground he and Mercedes used to hang around in when they were kids.

The playground is actually really pretty. It's all grass except for the sandbox, it's next to a park after all. It also has a swingset and a few more things for kids to play on. It's very colorful in the summer, the sun always shines down right above here.

The first thing Blaine noticed today was how dark and boring everything was. No kids were there and it smelled like smoke. And there was the explanation, Kurt was sitting on one of the swings, smoke escaping his lips as he kicked a toy that was close to him.

He was all alone but he didn't look lonely. He looked satisfied and as usual, _beautiful._

"Hi, Kurt." Blaine said and walked up to him.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked.

He didn't sound mad like Blaine thought he would.

"I was thinking maybe we could talk."

Kurt frowned and put the cigarette back into his mouth, inhaling once more. "Why?"

"Well, since you don't do boyfriends… maybe you do friends?" Blaine smiled and sat down on the swing next to Kurt.

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. I'm kind of used to being alone. It's better that way."

"Why?" Now it was Blaine's turn to frown. "How can being all alone be better than having at least one friend?"

"Because it just is. You won't get hurt that way."

"So that's what happened to you? You got hurt and now you won't let anyone in?" Blaine assumed.

"No! Stop guessing my life, Anderson. Everything isn't what it seems." He threw the cigarette in the sand and burried it.

"Then tell me?" Blaine suggested. "Tell me about your life, help me understand."

Kurt put his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, his eyes glued on the sand. He bit his lip and swallowed thickly. "Even if I wanted to, I don't know where to begin. I've never… told anyone about me. Like ever."

Blaine nodded in understanding. "Well, for starters, what changed you?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"What turned you into this." Blaine made a hand gesture. "Smoking, drinking, quitting Glee, getting a bad reputation and so on."

Kurt sighed. "How about you mind your own damn business."

"I tried." Blaine mumbled to himself.

Kurt reached up to move away a strand of hair from his eyes and that movement made his leather jacket slide up a few inches and reveal his left wrist.

Blaine felt his blood freeze as he inhaled sharply.

Kurt had five deep, fresh-looking cuts on his wrist. There was probably more but Blaine could only see five.

His mind was spinning. Who did that to him? It couldn't be an accident, accidents doesn't look like that. Kurt must have done it to himself. But why would he do that?

Kurt looked at him with a frown, he followed Blaine's eyes and for the first time Blaine saw pure horror reflect Kurt's blue eyes as he quickly pulled the jacket down to cover it up.

"Wha-" Blaine began.

"No!" Kurt yelled and stood up. "Don't fucking say anything. You don't get to judge me. I know what you're thinking, I've heard it all before, but you don't get to guess, you don't get to tell me what a disgusting freak I am. You don't know anything about me, so fuck you for thinking that!"

Blaine opened his mouth to try to speak again but once more he was interrupted.

"No, shut up! Shut up!" Kurt screamed and then started running. And he ran fast, much faster than Blaine. Eventually he was gone.

Blaine stopped his tracks, panting.

He didn't understand. Everything was spinning. But he didn't… he didn't think Kurt was disgusting. He didn't think he was a freak or anything like that.

If anything it showed him that Kurt was human, he had feelings, he had his own struggles and demons to deal with, and that even the most beautiful creatures aren't perfect. It was imperfection, it was struggle, it was pain and frustration. It was a pattern of feelings that sometimes became too much all at once.

Why in the world would Blaine judge him for being human?

* * *

Blaine kept searching for Kurt but he couldn't find him anywhere. Not under the stage, not the sidewalk where he had been drunk, not at The Lima Bean, not even at the back of the mall. He thought about giving up and hoping that he would run into him tomorrow.

One more check around the school and then he would give up.

He drove up to McKinley and got out of the car. He walked to the stage and this time Kurt _was_ there. He was seated on the ground, hugging his legs and his forehead resting on his knees. And he was holding a bottle.

Blaine walked over quietly, he knew Kurt must know he was here and he half expected Kurt to start running, but he didn't. So Blaine sat down next to him on the cold ground.

Blaine waited patiently, he didn't wanna push Kurt.

"Why are you here?" Kurt's voice was muffled. "You're supposed to tell everyone you know and laugh at me."

"Why would I do that?" He asked quietly.

"Because that's what everyone does when they find out. Why do you think people run away from me?" Kurt looked up, he hadn't been crying but he looked so sad and Blaine was sure he could hear his own heart breaking.

"I'm not gonna tell anybody." Blaine said seriously.

"Why?" Kurt seemed to grow more and more frustrated with each second that passed by.

Blaine sighed. "Because I don't judge you. I don't think you're a freak or weird, I don't know why you did it but you had your reason."

"So you understand?" Kurt sounded anything but convinced.

"I don't think it's the right solution but yeah, I get it."

Kurt looked down at the ground again. He took a sip out of the bottle.

"Please don't get drunk for this." Blaine whispered.

"It's water." Kurt said dryly. "The alcohol is out."

"Oh." Blaine nodded.

A few minutes of silence passed by.

"When I was eight my mom died." Kurt began.

Blaine was surprised, he didn't think Kurt would share anything with him right now. But he was thankful and felt honored to be the first one to hear Kurt's story.

"She had cancer and she couldn't beat it. Everyone was devastated, she was a very great woman, but my dad just couldn't handle it. He cried every night, locked himself into his room and eventually he started drinking. He always smelled like alcohol… and eventually it was all he did.

"He stopped being a dad, so I was by myself. When I began school people started picking on me, I had a pretty… different sense of style. I guess I was a lot more feminine than the other boys." Kurt snorted. "As I got older they started calling me a fag and all that shit. I got notes and mails telling me to kill myself. I had no one to go to: no dad, no mom, no friends. I had no one to tell me that there is nothing wrong with me, that it's natural to be gay. I had to learn the hard way.

"I realized that if I was gonna survive high school I needed to change. So in sophomore year I decided to change everything about me. I got piercings, dyed my hair and started taking classes in self-defence. I gained some muscles and an attitude. When I came back nobody recognized me and they became afraid of me. It didn't get me friends but at least the bullying stopped."

He made a pause.

"Then I started experimenting. I started sleeping with people, both boys and girls, then I realized that girls wasn't for me at all, so I stuck to boys. People like to talk so they did, they spread awful rumors about me. That I was a slut and I guess in a way I was, but I didn't care. I was having too much fun.

"Then some fucker said I killed my mom. And when my step brother died last year they said that he committed suicide because I was sexually abusing him."

Kurt's voice was shaking.

"I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle it, Blaine." A few tears escaped Kurt's eyes. "So one evening when I was in the bath I picked up a razor and let it slide across my skin. It felt so damn good to see the blood pour down and make the water red. I fucking loved it, so I kept doing it until I couldn't find a piece of skin that didn't have a cut."

He couldn't go on, because he was crying so hard.

Kurt literally fell down onto Blaine's lap and Blaine wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

He had no idea anyone could be so cruel. It made him so angry to hear that someone would create a rumor like that. He had this urge to find the person and knock their teeth out.

"It's gonna be okay." Blaine promised. "We're gonna get you help."

Kurt nodded but didn't say anything, probably because of how hard he was crying.

The sound of Kurt's cries were both beautiful and tradgic, is it even normal to think someones crying is beautiful? But it was and it could probably make anybody's heart break.

Blaine couldn't believe he hadn't seen his scars before, not even when they had sex. Well, it had been very dark in the room but still… Blaine felt stupid.

A while later Kurt calmed down and sat up, resting his head against the brick wall next to the stage behind them.

"I haven't cried in two years." He said in a raspy voice.

Blaine looked surprised. "You haven't?"

"No." Kurt shaked his head. "I've been close but… the tears never came."

"I know what that feels like." Blaine nodded.

"You do?"

"Yeah."

Silence surrounded them.

"I just really fucking hate myself." Kurt said after a while. He ran a leather clad hand through his pink hair.

"You shouldn't." Blaine said. It truly broke his heart to hear Kurt speak this way about himself.

"Why? I'm fucked up."

"We're all fucked up somehow!" Blaine threw his hands up in the air to demonstrate. "That includes me."

Kurt gave him a _I don't believe you for a second-face. _"Really? How is saint Anderson fucked up?"

Blaine shaked his head. "I'm not a saint. I'm fucked up, maybe not in the same way as you, but we're all different. I'm fucked up because I'm so… afraid of everything. I get so easily uncomfortable that I run away from things. The only moment I feel truly comfortable is when I'm on stage, singing. Then I feel like I have found my place, like I am exactly where I should be.

"I'm fucked up because I turned into a wreck when my dad left us. It was when I was 14, after I came out. He left my mom and she was heartbroken, though she said it didn't matter, she didn't wanna be with a homophobic asshole, but I know that she loved him. I spent so much time hating myself for being the reason he left and I tried to change so badly. I wanted to change more than anything in this world. Eventually I realized that I couldn't though, no matter how much I wanted it. I could keep running but… I could never run away from myself."

Kurt was watching him closely. "So what did you do? When you realized you couldn't change."

"I kept going. I kept trying to fool everyone around me even if I couldn't fool myself but eventually the people around me started noticing how miserable I was so they demanded an explanation. And after a really uncomfortable, but needed, conversation with my friends at Dalton I finally built up the courage to speak to my mom about it. I think she was even more heartbroken over the fact that I had tried to change so badly than the fact that my dad had left. So she made me promise to never be sorry for who I am ever again and believe that it's not my fault."

"Did you believe her?" Kurt asked.

"Not at first. But I was so tired of pretending that I just needed to stop or else I'd go completely insane. I began to lose myself… it was horrible. I was so caught up in my little act that I forgot about who I really was. But I found myself." He smiled and made a gesture at this clothing and gelled hair. "And I must say I love it, regardless what people say or think. This is me and yes, I have made mistakes and I have made a fool out of myself, and yes maybe my clothing is a bit 'grandpa' but it's who I am and I will no longer be sorry."

Kurt was smiling at him, a beautiful smile where you could see his teeth and made his eyes crinkle. "You're just… wow." He shaked his head. "I can't ever see myself getting to that point."

"But you will." Blaine said and put a hand on his knee. "I'll help you. We can contact a therapist tomorrow and-"

"Therapist?!" Kurt's eyes widened. "Hell no! I'm not going to some lady who will tell me to start popping pills because I am depressed and that I need to seek help in God because being a fag is such a sin that I can't expect to get better until I have fully committed my life to a heterosexual lifestyle!"

"They're not like that, Kurt. They can't judge you, you know. That's they're job."

"You don't know that, Quinn's mom sent her to one of those when she caught her having sex with a girl. And it ended with Quinn moving into her 25-year-old friends apartment because if she hadn't moved out she would've gone completely crazy! She doesn't even speak to her parents anymore. Seeking help in a therapist is the absolute worst thing you can do!"

Blaine shaked his head. "No. Seeking help is the bravest thing you can do. And you don't need to tell him or her that you're gay, that's not your struggle here. You're struggle is your self-hatred and you self-harming."

Kurt sighed. "Fuck."

"It's okay." Blaine squeezed his thigh. "I promise it's gonna be okay."

TBC


End file.
